This student faced a critical juncture in their academic journey. The stakes were high: entry into a PhD programme and securing scholarship funding hinged on achieving a High Distinction in their master's degree. However, despite their efforts, the student received a Distinction, with one reviewer significantly low-balling their score. The student felt cheated and concerned about the assessment's validity, stating,
"I felt concern at the alarmingly high variability between the assessors (67 and 92 out of 100). This lack of reliability and assessment validity was deeply concerning."
The Immediate Aftermath: Impact & Feelings
The initial emotional impact was profound. The student experienced a mix of elation for achieving a solid distinction and sadness for being a hair shy of the desired mark. The irony of the situation was palpable, as the student's thesis focussed on assessor bias in higher education. The student shared,
"I felt elated to achieve a solid distinction, but I felt saddened and cheated that I hadn't gotten the desired mark, especially in light of the fact that my master's thesis was about invalid assessment."
Initial Thoughts & Beliefs
Paranoia and self-doubt set in as the student questioned the fairness of the academic system and their own measurements and analyses. Seeking assurance from friends and family, the student attempted to triangulate data around their concerns.
"Paranoia set in. I questioned how the academy could get away with this and questioned my measurements and analyses of the assessment process and policies," the student reflected.
Impact on Daily Life
The setback had a significant impact on the student's daily life and motivation. Feeling disheartened by the unjust evaluation and the prevalence of assessor bias, the student struggled with the practical consequences of the situation.
"Yes, I felt quite disheartened that it seemed my work wasn't being justly evaluated for its true competencies. I also felt that unrelated issues, such as assessor bias, were prevalent and negatively impacted the outcome, which meant it would be harder for me to acquire scholarship funding," the student explained.
Support and Isolation
Despite the challenges, the student found support in friends and family, which helped mitigate feelings of isolation.
"No, I was able to talk to friends and family about the issues,"
the student noted, highlighting the importance of a support network during difficult times.
Navigating the Difficulty
Assessing the Intensity
The student rated the distress level as 8 out of 10, emphasising the significant impact on their academic career aspirations.
"8, because failing to acquire a scholarship would mean the limited or effective end of my hopes of having an academic career,".
Coping Strategies
To cope with the situation, the student employed various strategies, including taking walks, making plans, and stepping away temporarily, illustrating a multifaceted approach to managing stress and disappointment.
Inner Strengths
Curiosity and a commitment to understanding the systemic issues drove the student forward.
"I think curiosity to try to understand what went wrong, what weak links in the chain were letting me down, was a driving factor in moving forward and trying to find a scholarship and supervisor,".
External Supports
While institutional support was lacking, the student found solace in their grandmother, a Doctor in Psychology, who provided valuable emotional support.
Key Learnings
The student's experience revealed a stark reality about academia:
"That academia and research institutes are unscientific places 'bristling with egos and pride,' which undermines the quality of scientific inquiry."
This insight underscored the gap between academic ideals and practical realities.
Skill Development
Through this experience, the student developed crucial interpersonal skills, particularly diplomacy and tact in written communication.
"Yes, I learned to become highly diplomatic and tactful in writing emails to staff and colleagues when inquiring into concerning matters as described and seeking investigations, but it was very hard not to ruffle feathers,".
Concrete Changes
The student formally codified their experience to highlight systemic problems in higher education assessment.
"I formally codified my experience so that I would be clear that I had identified a systemic problem in higher education assessment,"
the student stated, demonstrating a proactive approach to addressing the issue.
Result of Changes
Despite the initial setback, the student managed to find a supervisor and secure a scholarship.
"Well, I managed to find a supervisor and won a scholarship at a university, in a similar department,"
the student shared, illustrating resilience and adaptability.
Hindsight Reflection
Reflecting on the experience, the student affirmed their approach, stating, "No," when asked if they would do anything differently. This response underscored the student's confidence in their strategies and decisions, where the outcome was clear.
Preventive Wisdom
The student's advice to others facing similar challenges is to
"Speak up and call out inconsistencies and faults in systems as soon as you suspect or identify them,"
the student emphasised, advocating for proactive engagement with systemic issues.
Practical Advice
For fellow scholars in the midst of similar struggles, the student offered practical advice:
"Set aside your emotions and try to clearly articulate the systemic issues in an itemised and step-wise fashion so that when you're feeling down or frustrated, you can still convey the key information to decision-makers who can help you."
This approach combines emotional intelligence with strategic communication.
A Message of Encouragement
The student's message of hope and encouragement is powerful:
"Never give up, find other ways, have contingencies. And don't back down; the academy is full of cowards and pseudo-science. Don't compromise your intellectual integrity."
This message combines practical determination with a principled stance on maintaining intellectual integrity.
Closing the Conversation
The student's journey from initial disappointment to eventual success offers valuable insights and encouragement for others facing similar academic challenges. Their story underscores the importance of resilience, adaptability, and maintaining intellectual integrity in the face of adversity.